Everyone has had good and bad experiences with physicians. When the experience is so bad, we never go back. When we need to see specialists, like those diagnosed with an MPN, it can be challenging when your connection with the physician is not what you had expected. All of us have different personalities and quirks and physicians are no different. Bedside manners are still very much a part of the conversations we hear when sharing stories about a doctor’s care. Those stories can influence others to either seek out care from a particular physician or go to someone else. What if the physician is one of the best doctors in the particular area of medicine you need and has a reputation for being rude, condescending, abrupt, and dismissive?
Dealing with difficult people is challenging for sure, but when it is someone you must rely on to be well there are other strategies that may help. Just like all of us, we have good days and bad days, days that are overwhelmingly busy, days dealing with home repairs, kids, financial issues, and so much more. Doctors deal with those same issues coupled with a patient load that sometimes exceeds the standard number. Their days never end if there is an emergency and some are available to their patients via texts to answer simple questions 24/7. That does not excuse poor manners and bad behaviors, it does, however, contribute to one’s demeanor at times. The question you must ask yourself is are you receiving the quality care, direction, and treatment you need, despite the differences in your personalities? That does not mean you should continue to see someone you don’t like, it is something you should weigh in your decision to make a change.
One of the best strategies I learned as a younger person to deal with difficult people was to empathize. It was the hardest thing to do but it did work most of the time. When it comes to a health provider, the last thing any of us needs is the extra stress of not wanting to go to our physician when we need to because we do not like them.
Things to consider:
- If you’re able, interview physicians –schedule a consultation. Very often, you will learn from that visit if there is a good fit.
- For MPN patients, the relationship with health providers is critical because it will last for years, therefore it is even more important to develop a great foundation at the onset of your care.
- A mutual respect and understanding should evolve during your long-term care. If it doesn’t, consider the pros and cons of changing physicians.
- Try to be prepared for each visit with any changes you’re experiencing and anything you’d like to discuss with your physician.
- If the care you receive outweighs the personality differences with a physician, carefully think about what’s important to you before making a change.
- Many of us do not have the luxury of changing doctors whether it is financial or geographical. If these are the issues you face, perhaps a conversation with a nurse or Physician’s Assistant may help. They can offer insights and ways to deal more effectively with the physician’s personality.
Finally, the MPN Community has some of the best specialists I’ve ever seen in my career. They are dedicated, considerate, kind, available, and willing to go above and beyond for the sake of their patient’s care. If you need to make a change and require some direction, let us know and we can direct you accordingly.