It has been said almost every family has been touched by cancer. I developed AML/APL Leukemia in 2006 and suffered a horrible reaction to chemo that kept me hospitalized for almost 5 months. It was a terribly difficult experience, but I made it through treatment and was so happy to reach the 5-year mark without other major issues. Then, in 2017, a routine physical found elevated platelets and white cells, a
huge red flag. Over the course of a short few months, the platelets rose to over one million. Anxiety followed me, closer than my shadow. Was AML back? Were chemo and hospitalization in my future? After a bone marrow biopsy, I was diagnosed with Essential Thrombocythemia.
For those living with illness, anxiety is simply a reality of life. We constantly scan our bodies for any sign of something wrong. We are nervous about blood test results because…what if…is always on our minds. Something bad happened to us and it made a physical memory we don’t want repeated. If illness has taught me anything, it is the importance of appreciating the present.
We have thousands of thoughts every day and most of them pass as background noise. The mind chatters away and we don’t engage with it too much. But let a scary thought come up, and we get carried away with worry that easily becomes all-consuming. What can be done?
Watch your focus. Treat disturbing thoughts as passing visitors. Let them come and go, and certainly don’t invite them in for tea and conversation. Instead, be present. Breathe deeply, relax your shoulders, and do something tactile. Gently change your focus to the here and now. Don’t chase upsetting thoughts, don’t play with them, chew on them, or try to block them out. Let them pass like clouds in the sky. There is no need to respond. You don’t have to react.
Experience has taught you life is short and can change in a moment. Absolutely everything is temporary. So, why are you wasting your precious time lost in thought, washed in worry? It really doesn’t help anything. You only have one precious life. Live it. Don’t wait. Do whatever you find interesting and rewarding. Your life will only have a deeper meaning when you do things that are meaningful to you.
Quit just getting by. You are so much more than your illness. Take charge. Don’t just survive – thrive.
Bob P.